One morning, after being told that I’ve cancelled the picnic we’d planned for the day, the Angel went into a, “It’s NOT FAIR!” frenzy.
She wailed for 15 minutes, and in all, took 25 minutes to be ready for breakfast. By then, breakfast was over, except for a glass of milk. She was given 10 minutes to get ready since she started on her ‘NOT FAIR” frenzy.
Fair – definitely not a word I want to introduce to my children.
What is fairness?
Is it fair than that our children have so much and others have none? Is it fair that other children are orphaned or have to go hungry daily? Is it fair that we get what we want or none at all?
The Angel picks up very quickly from her peers and people around her. I have noticed the use of the word ‘fair’ in our social circle recently and I am just waiting for it to be used by her.
Now that she has displayed it, I took the opportunity to shout explain it to her (albeit a little frustrated) and hope that it sticks.
I don’t want the Angels to grow up measuring fairness or even using the word.
Life isn’t about fairness but about appreciation, thankfulness, gratefulness.
Is life ever fair? Is it even worth thinking along this line?
And with children, it’d be endless someday if each Angel has different privileges or opportunities and if we get “being fair” shouting across to us.
I know the next word the Angel might use is “jealous” but I’m waiting to see. Again, it’s not a word we have introduced to her but the people around her are either using it or asking if she is jealous at all about her sister.
Let’s wait and see how it’d come out ……
Ah, parenting, it can also be a waiting game.
Hi AM–
(smile) My little one just used the word jealous for the first time and then asked what it meant. She read it in a book and then heard her classmates use it (incorrectly).
Like your thoughts, I don’t use the word fair with my child. Life isn’t fair if being fair means fitting in with our own desires. If fair means going with the rules, then life is very fair, just that we have to understand what life’s rules are.
All a little too complex for little ones.
I say to my daughter at times, just because we can say a word doesn’t mean we know how to use it appropriately.
Wonderful, thoughtful post, thank you!
Well said! I totally agree with you when you say life isn’t about fairness but appreciation, thankfulness and gratitude. You couldn’t have put it better.
I have to remind Tee countless of times how fortunate she is and whenever she gets out of line, all I have to do is remove one or any of her privileges and she quickly realises that I am still in control and she could lose it all if she didn’t watch her step.
She has also used the word jealous in that she is jealous of the new baby (not sure where she picked it up from) but I just reassure her that she has nothing to be jealous about and really, we should never be jealous of anyone. I never was!
How horrible it is that people would ask a child if they were jealous of their sibling? Shoot them!
Agree with you. I’m not sure how or from where they pick up those words. Mine said the same words (”Not fair!”) too.
hello mrs chew ! wow. super long nv hear from you. and wow. another baby! congrats! so.. hows life? how are you?(:
Hi Winny,
I’m good! How’s everyone at home?
I tell them all the time “Life’s not fair. Get used to it!”
And yes, don;t you just “love” these “kind” people who put ideas into our little ones’ minds? Like your “are you jealous of the baby?” Grrr…. 
Hi Serene
Yes, I simply don’t understand why people implant ‘fear’, ‘jealousy’ among all the other negative thoughts into our children’s heads! Why? Why? And boy, am I glad! The Angel has not used the word ‘fair’ since that outburst!