I spent the last week reflecting on Fathers’ Day . We decided that the alternative dad deserved to be treated to a good set of tools which he so desperately needed for all his DIY jobs. We had a nice evening of roast duck with our beloved friend, C, and had such a lot of laughter talking about the upcoming events in our lives.

What are fathers made of?

As a daughter, some skills and advice that my father has given me just sink deep in.

I love books from young and I remember once, my father told me, “You can read all books but there is no point reading books that are not worth reading. Just spend time on useful ones.” I usually am stawlart about the books I start on, but my father’s advice has a profound impact (although I used it much more later on in life).

I can still remember it was my father who introduced me to the Chinese ‘hanyu pinyin’ (phonics). The way he said it still rings in my ears now. I cannot remember if he taught me everything or the rest were learnt in school, but I like to believe and still think that it was him who taught me all of them and I remain grounded in them.

Recently, my parents came for a visit. After not seeing one another for so long, we had a lot of catching up to do, chatting about relatives. My father said a very wise sentence, “It’s not important what people do to us, as long as we remain close as a family and give one another support, that is what counts.” Sometimes, he reveals his thoughts in unexpected circumstances.

In many ways, my own father and the alternative dad are similar.

As a daughter, I sometimes do warm up to my father easier, given his more logical, less lengthy explanations.

As a mother, I enjoy the idiosyncrasies the alternative dad exposes the Angel to.

The way he teaches the Angel to handle his tools and learns how to take out nuts and bolts and what nots! The way he teaches her to sing (usually not the correct version!). How he almost never says no to her and where I know the question of ‘who’s the boss’ applies alot to him. His more detached, more logical deductions, practical lessons such as ’soft landing’, falling with the head up ….

As an individual, a father presents a different set of persepctives to a child. As a daughter and a mother, I value that difference and sometimes, it is worth learning the taciturn, concise, analytical and logical thought that both of them have taught me to explore.

Inspired by this post, I shall leave with the Angel’s words which I know will never fail to bring a smile over the course of the alternative dad’s day.

As I used to say with Valentine’s Day, now Fathers’ Day. To all fathers, everyday is a Fathers’ Day!

Categories: Where We Live