Energy Sapped

So I was asked, how did all that jazz from my holiday fade so quickly?

A week ago, I was all refreshed and recharged. Another week on, I’m sinking again!

Shortly after my holiday, I realise that I sorely miss room service and the chamber maid!

You see, we were on a retreat, and I mean, it was a REAL retreat. We spent most of our time away from most people in Bali. Spent some cold nights in the highlands of Bali and the rest in a villa tuck away in an obscure part of Bali surrounded by tobacco plantations. Who says Bali is touristy?

I did have a kitchenette and wok up meals for the little ones, especially after two bouts of allergic attacks on my Angel! Simple cooking, minimal cleaning!

All our other meals were prepared for us, especially in the mountains of Batukura. We were treated to the freshest homecooked food in such a lovely kitchen! And then of course, the villa had such a large space that we get daily room service.

On that holiday, I had a relaxed pace of life and didn’t have to care about the idiosyncracies of daily life for a while.

The ‘problem’ I see now is, because we were quite secluded, I didn’t manage to draw a lot of energy.

Like me, my Angel is a spirited child. She saps my energy and I’m drained of energy with her daily. The spirited me then needs to draw energy from others. That’s where my problem lies. I haven’t quite managed to do that, not even on our holiday. The person I meet daily is the Alternative Dad who draws his energy from non-living gadgets. In my course of a day, I have problems gaining access to energy! I’m burning out!

And this probably explains why I have lost all that holiday jazz so quickly. I can’t even keep up with my daily responsibilities!

I now teeter on the brink of tetchiness, irascibility and exasperation, resulting in helplessness on how to get myself out of this rut.

I dislike being irritable all day, have absolute zero patience with the children and just want to be alone but yet not.

I have an idea and this idea is going to be my birthday wish.

In the meantime, please send me positive vibes, pray for me, whatever. I need all the positive encouragement, optimism, positive energy and heartening I can get.

I don’t want to complain, I just want to DO SOMETHING!